{"id":17197,"date":"2014-12-30T16:29:13","date_gmt":"2014-12-30T21:29:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/developer83.wordpress-developer.us\/culturecheesemag\/?p=17197"},"modified":"2014-12-30T16:29:13","modified_gmt":"2014-12-30T21:29:13","slug":"alert-200-lb-goat-loose-ma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/developer83.wordpress-developer.us\/culturecheesemag\/alert-200-lb-goat-loose-ma\/","title":{"rendered":"ALERT: 200-lb. Goat on the Loose! (in MA)"},"content":{"rendered":"

A 200-lb. horned goat has escaped its home in Tewksbury, Massachusetts, late Friday evening. Despite a vigorous, uh, goat-hunt on the part of the Lowell Police Department, as of 7 p.m. Monday evening, the caprine remains at large<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The Lowell Police have released a statement asserting that, while their young are probably the most adorable creatures to walk this earth<\/a>, goats can<\/em> become aggressive when defending themselves. Or when trying to prove their innocence while being unceasingly pursued by a relentless Tommy Lee Jones, whom we can only assume automatically leads investigations of this sort:<\/p>\n

“Although goats are normally docile animals, in stressful situations, such as being loose in unfamiliar territory, he possibly can become scared and resort to attacking in a survival mode.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dennis the Goat, meanwhile, has not kept his silence during his run from authorities, creating a Twitter feed documenting his travails.<\/p>\n

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@TheLowellGoat<\/a> @jpaluzziSun<\/a> we're just looking out for your best interest. We don't want you to get hurt<\/p>\n

— Lowell PD (@LowellPD) December 27, 2014<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n